Have You Ever...?
Posted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 7:14 pm
Have you ever...
...tried to teach your girlfriend to ride and then never see her again?
...been so tired you couldn't even read your odometer?
...been concentrating on a steep, slick downhill and had a bee take a hike across your nose?
...checked your riding jacket pockets and found five wrenches the same size?
...sold a bike for half now and half never?
...followed a much better rider hoping to learn something, but then not believe what you were seeing?
...tried to kickstart a 500cc single in bare feet?
...crashed into just one other rider in a 600 rider race, only to find that it's the guy you came with?
...used an insect repellent that was worse than the insects?
...waved to someone with one hand, and pulled the handgrip off with the other?
...found a really nice pair of goggles on the trail, and then lost them?
...spent $3000 trying to make a $5000 motorcycle run like a $7000 motorcycle?
...replaced a wheel and then found a wheel spacer lying on the ground?
...loaned a tool and then had to track it down through four different guys?
...met a deer coming at you on a really narrow trail?
...worked on a carburetor and wished you had six fingers on each hand?
...asked a lady rider for her phone number, and then wasted a quarter calling Dial-A-Prayer?
...lied to a friend's wife, swearing that he spent the night in your room?
...left your AMA card at home, and had to buy a new one... two weeks in a row?
...tried to sleep in your van while parked next to a guy with a new girlfriend?
...left your keys under the floor mat and then wondered where your truck went?
...got lucky and passed 40 riders stuck in a swamp, and then go five miles down the wrong trail?
...have you ever given up racing forever, three weeks in a row?
...leaned your bike against a truck just before it drove away?
...called long distance to get race information, and spent 15 minutes talking to a five-year old?
...spent ten minutes looking for your valve stem cap and then found it between your lips?
...pinched the skin between your fingers so badly you tried to throw a tire iron through the garage door?
...had to squeeze sweat from a dollar bill so you could spend it?
...taken your boot off and then be afraid to look at your foot?
...tried to describe a really great ride in mixed company?
...tasted anything better than a cold glass of water after a hot, 100 mile ride?
...found a two-week old hamburger in your van, and then ate it anyway?
...tried to make up time on a loose gravel road and then overshoot a turn by 200 yards?
...driven your truck right after a really long race, and then tried to put out your leg on the first left turn?
...ridden on the same number as three other guys who all had the same first name?
...knelt down to find a dropped bolt, and found it with your kneecap?
...strained a gut to lift your bike upright on a slope, and then had the very next rider knock you down again?
...borrowed a tool that had your name on it?
...loaned a tool to a guy that had HIS name on it?
...put your buddy's boots in the refrigerator the night before a race?
...finished a race with high hopes, only to learn you'd been beaten by a 12 year old who just started riding the week before?
...arrived at a race one week too early?
...screamed at a slower rider to let you pass, and then crashed right in front of him?
...tried to teach your girlfriend to ride and then never see her again?
...been so tired you couldn't even read your odometer?
...been concentrating on a steep, slick downhill and had a bee take a hike across your nose?
...checked your riding jacket pockets and found five wrenches the same size?
...sold a bike for half now and half never?
...followed a much better rider hoping to learn something, but then not believe what you were seeing?
...tried to kickstart a 500cc single in bare feet?
...crashed into just one other rider in a 600 rider race, only to find that it's the guy you came with?
...used an insect repellent that was worse than the insects?
...waved to someone with one hand, and pulled the handgrip off with the other?
...found a really nice pair of goggles on the trail, and then lost them?
...spent $3000 trying to make a $5000 motorcycle run like a $7000 motorcycle?
...replaced a wheel and then found a wheel spacer lying on the ground?
...loaned a tool and then had to track it down through four different guys?
...met a deer coming at you on a really narrow trail?
...worked on a carburetor and wished you had six fingers on each hand?
...asked a lady rider for her phone number, and then wasted a quarter calling Dial-A-Prayer?
...lied to a friend's wife, swearing that he spent the night in your room?
...left your AMA card at home, and had to buy a new one... two weeks in a row?
...tried to sleep in your van while parked next to a guy with a new girlfriend?
...left your keys under the floor mat and then wondered where your truck went?
...got lucky and passed 40 riders stuck in a swamp, and then go five miles down the wrong trail?
...have you ever given up racing forever, three weeks in a row?
...leaned your bike against a truck just before it drove away?
...called long distance to get race information, and spent 15 minutes talking to a five-year old?
...spent ten minutes looking for your valve stem cap and then found it between your lips?
...pinched the skin between your fingers so badly you tried to throw a tire iron through the garage door?
...had to squeeze sweat from a dollar bill so you could spend it?
...taken your boot off and then be afraid to look at your foot?
...tried to describe a really great ride in mixed company?
...tasted anything better than a cold glass of water after a hot, 100 mile ride?
...found a two-week old hamburger in your van, and then ate it anyway?
...tried to make up time on a loose gravel road and then overshoot a turn by 200 yards?
...driven your truck right after a really long race, and then tried to put out your leg on the first left turn?
...ridden on the same number as three other guys who all had the same first name?
...knelt down to find a dropped bolt, and found it with your kneecap?
...strained a gut to lift your bike upright on a slope, and then had the very next rider knock you down again?
...borrowed a tool that had your name on it?
...loaned a tool to a guy that had HIS name on it?
...put your buddy's boots in the refrigerator the night before a race?
...finished a race with high hopes, only to learn you'd been beaten by a 12 year old who just started riding the week before?
...arrived at a race one week too early?
...screamed at a slower rider to let you pass, and then crashed right in front of him?
